What frustrates or irritates you?
What really really gets ‘under your skin”?
When was the last time you were ANGRY?
You may or not be aware that anger depletes your energy, cognitive ability and natural resources for coping, amongst other things. Not to mention being incredibly destructive to your ability to form and maintain meaningful relationships with others.
In a lot of cases, the easiest self control option is to ask yourself a set of simple question:
What situation am I facing?
What elements are within my control? What can I change?
Set about making the changes that are within your control and let go of the things that are outside of your control, as this is a fruitless waste of valuable energy.
Anger is a normal and healthy emotion, but can be very destructive if it is combined with a lack of self awareness. This results in anger “out of control”. This kind of anger affects your physical health, mental health, career, team sports and your relationships.
Paying attention to the signals that you are getting angry and being able to re-direct that energy will make a huge difference to your life, but it’s starts with a desire to change.
If possible, identify the routes of your anger and deal with it at an appropriate time. Some of these could be:
- trying to live up to the expectations of others
- a belief that people are judging you
- taking on too much (seen my paper on finding the skills and ability flow zone)
- misunderstood communication
- ….there are many many more
Some tips for when you recognise the signs of anger within yourself:
- Focus on the physical feelings (tight stomach..etc), being aware can often result in a change of mindset
- Take some deep breaths – slow
- Walk away from the situation for a few moments
- Count back from ten
- Ask yourself – what is the ‘true’ route cause of my anger (be honest)
- Ask yourself – how important, in the grand scheme of things, is this moment? Can I compromise?
- Ask yourself – is this really worth ruining my day?
- Be willing to forgive others
- let go!!!!
Please remember that, like all emotions, there is an element of choice that is being deployed.
Poor choices can often result on poor outcomes.
Change your perspective – change your choice.
..until next time…. Have fun and dance like nobody is watching!!!